July 2010
1 post
February 2010
1 post
Waffle Songs has moved. I don't know why!!!! It... →
June 2009
1 post
May 2009
2 posts
“And planting takes place at the peak of the autumn change, under clear blue...”
– A Garlic Testament, Stanley Crawford
Garden news
P. Powell: Are you topping the tomato plants, or need I set up a vigil for hundred-legged predators?
W. Songs: I’ve not topped any tomato plants. I thought it was you??
PP: Something is Out There.
March 2009
10 posts
Tweetbook schweetbook
I am more obsessed with dude’s ENORMOUS EGG.
NEAT!!!!
Let's be honest
“Diva”? I would wear this pin if it said “cup” instead
Drinkin' town, fishin' problem
Cedar key, FL! Nice place fer chowder—
cold beer and Moby Dick
Yonder! A fish!
“Fish”
“Fish”?!?!?!
Tickle it
Then throw it back
“Adieu!”
Gainesville, FL
is mad pretty sans skeeters!
Tiny brains
Nice rack
Staycation!
LUNCH
PORCH
BOOK
THAWING SNAKE SNACK
CHIVE FIVE!!!!!
Fuck yes! A chive!!!!!!!! (Chife?)
February 2009
7 posts
RE: I will incubate your eggs. FREE! (Trenton,...
Do you notice this in the ad: Since the Orp dad was murdered by a protected species. WAH! That means, approximately, that an Orpington rooster was murdered by a hawk, as was my last RI Red hen. A mature Orpington weighs ten pounds, the largest chicken in the catalogue. Do you notice that she uses the same word that I use, murdered? That is because it is the right word. If I were still a man,...
I will incubate your eggs. FREE!
I will incubate your eggs. FREE! Reply to: sale-1038432028@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-02-17, 12:10PM Hen won’t go broody? HOW FRUSTRATING!!!GRUMP!!! Don’t let them go to waste!!! Let me help you hatch those eggs. I will do it free. Just let me keep a few! I have an incubator and am constantly incubating eggs. Also I have 2wk old chicks to sell. The ones that grow up to be hens...
Bacon chocolate chip!!
Because who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?
Correct answer: Nobody. Nobody needs that heart; HENCE: permission to eat these cookies to you-know-what’s content. Presenting bacon chocolate chip cookies: A recipe! (Thank you Pete bakes)
1. Two words, you guys: CANDIED BACON. Sprinkle brown sugar on a baking sheet maximally lain with bacon.
2. Bake at 350 degrees for 12...
ENDLESS RED LIGHTS
There are times at the traffic light — especially on University ave. — when I wonder: Did I just space out? Did I miss that green?
“FTW”
Finally learned what it means. How can it have nothing to do with “BTW”?
MICHAEL RUHLMAN
Eats PBCs.
DREAM CAMEO
“In my dream I was chasing you up an icy hill until I realized you were here next to...
"Is this real life?" →
January 2009
21 posts
Or download Miles Benjamin Anthony Robinson,...
Olly olly oxen free
“Law Bock Gow” - a recipe!
When life gives you languishing daikon radishes
1. Consider the impending Chinese New Year and realize: TURNIP CAKE
2. Steam two slices of cut up REGULAR BACON because in this town you know where to procure frog legs and alligator, but not “Chinese bacon (lop yok)”
3. Also necessary are RICE FLOUR and TINY DRIED SHRIMP. Fortunately you...
Priorities - WHERE YOU AT
If you, like me, were to find yourself suddenly and urgently concerned about your dish washing technique from a water conservation standpoint, and began typing “best way to wash dishes” into the Google searchbar, you would be met— after “best way”— with these here suggestions:
“Best way to lose weight”
“Best way to commit suicide”
...
Why "doggie" bag
For y’ort:
Butterfly with cling film wings
The “tinfoil barb”
"I put flur de sel in my pan first then added...
“Salted Water for Boiling”
Oat and about
Throughout my life I have been through many oatmeal phases, enjoying oatmeals both soupy and not.
As a latch-key youth, I was committed to packets of instant oatmeal— chiefly the apple or maple flavors— prepared with two or three tablespoons of hot water – just enough moisture to form a pastelike meal. I grew up and learned things. I learned about oats rolled and steel cut, and the...
Baked potato pickup line
“Why don’t you skate your butter over my potato?”
“Yo mama’s so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.”
“You know I hate those jokes.”
“They’re not about you.”
“Still, they’re hurtful.”
Mint woven floss
By horrible mistake I months ago purchased “Mint woven floss” from our friendly neighborhood Target.
Ideal flossness
Ideal ropeness
WTF!!!!!!
Discovery was made last night and I was not a happy camper.
More insult! More injury!: Well, so pleased had I been to chance upon a floss sale that I purchased not one but TWO spools of woven floss, which BTW is more...
"Silence. I hear my ear."
was GREAT
Highly recommended for bird buffs/ enthusiasts of these
“The ostrich, a giant chick”
“Swallows. Eyebrows scattered through the air.”
“That poignant sensation which makes you take hold of a sentence as though it were a weapon.”
“My friends wait for me at the novel, as they might wait at a street corner.”
“A sentence must be so...
Butt truffles
For whatever reason we were discussing truffles last night and somebody— fielding somebody else’s question— concluded that chocolate truffles were most likely named for their resemblance to truffles, the fungus.
“But everything looks like truffles” I protested.
It’s true! So far we have come up with:
Clouds = sky truffles
Stool = butt truffles
Everything that rises...
must converge
Lid of pot
Woodrow, the Ball python
Close-up of Woodrow’s face holes (“facial pits”)
"But I like your eyes"
“They remind me of my favorite things”
“Like poop?”
“NO! Like coffee”
“And Rolos”
“And black girls”
Rabbit, run
Sugo di coniglio, w/olives + pine nuts + herb pasta - a recipe!
Serves 4
1.
Jump/leap/hop at opportunity to obtain 1 rabbit, “fed a protein-rich foundation of…rabbit food/rolled oats…live, whole plant foods including a wide variety of greens, hay, fruits, roots, and tubers” from Renaissance Rabbits, a small (new?) rabbitry in Micanopy. Feel great swellings of pride! ...
Banana of the relationship
An apple placed in a paper bag with a banana will accelerate the banana’s ripening process. Which of you is the apple of the relationship? Who is the banana?
Been mullin'
BABY NAMES
“Mussel” for a boy, “Biryani” for a girl
CLEAVERS
What the world needs is a cleaver that actually CLEAVES. “To cleave” has two opposite meanings; shouldn’t cleavers — the knives — offer two opposite functions?
Thomas Bernhard, tree hugger
“The world is more and more being used by us; we use up the world more than the world uses us up.”
“I always bought newspapers without reading them, merely leafing through them, threw them away again not a hundred paces away from the newsstand where I bought them. If I were to let the newspapers I have bought in my life blow down Kärntnerstrasse as a newspaper drift, a...
Redemption flakes
Groggy morning misreading of the grocery list. Could refer to: communion wafers. In actuality: red pepper flakes
The process of traveling southward took place Dec. 31, ‘08. Airports on New Year’s Eve = something else (this weirdness augmented — no doubt — by reading material). Airline person: “We will now board families with small children” Father to his...
December 2008
25 posts
Everything reminds me of kombucha
Is the future thesis/ story collection title.
Kombucha
Kombucha
True kombucha
Newest additions to the band name stockpile: “Heaven Stems”; “The Basmati Molecule”
What happened while I was gone was they bought an HDTV from probably Costco and a shiny new mic/mixer, ‘cause both siblings are now composing original tunes and aspiring to youtube stardom. The...
Annual tradition of the Christmas song recording...
Can't be beet
Hands down my month ‘o’ December favorite thing has been beets plus sour cream dressings — a synergy that is to me particularly thrilling because it is a way to use sour cream, which in my fridge perpetually threatens to go to waste, and requires constant vigilance. Trick to deliciousness, I’ve found, is smushing the chosen allium (shallot or teensy garlic clove)...
Mind-boggling, the disparity between the phrases “salt pork” and “salt pig.”
Salt pork
Salt pig
Who owns salt pigs? I mean, what segment of the population?